I’ve been given quite a gift recently. Of course, it did not appear that way at first. At first it appeared that the engine in my fiance’s 10 year old car had given out, and we needed to make a decision whether to replace the engine in a car that was already eating money, or buy a new car altogether. My heart pounded when I heard this news and million thoughts ran through my mind: how could we possibly afford a car payment, should we lease or buy, why did this have to happen now, so close to our wedding? However, I quickly decided to turn this into an opportunity to learn a new lesson, rather than feel victimized by this seemingly negative event. Was this easy? No! I really wanted to wallow, complain, and worry. I decided, though, that what I actually wanted more was to take this experience and see it as a gift from the universe.
We ultimately decided to lease a new car with the intent of buying it in a few years, once the lease is up. What I got out of this was much more than a new car, though. Here are the gifts I’ve received over the last two days:
1. The opportunity to reevaluate my relationship with money. I realized that I have inherited a fear of money from my parents, who are very frugal. They have passed their own fear onto me. This is the time for me to no longer tiptoe around money. Of course I want to make good financial decisions. I have a budget, I am not in debt, and I save over 25% of my paycheck. However, I am working on removing fearful energy from my thoughts about money, and realizing that my parents and I are different people, who approach spending very differently.
2. The opportunity to put into practice tools I’ve been cultivating over time. Meditation, mindfulness, mantras, and journaling have truly helped me through what could have been an extremely stressful experience.
In the future I hope to be able to welcome challenges with even less hesitation. Ironically, the evening before the car issues, I repeated the mantra “I accept change” continuously during my walk, visualizing myself with open arms welcoming change in. The next day, change! I realized that even while repeating the mantra I still only meant change that I like, not just change in general. Perhaps the greatest gift is the opportunity to open my heart to change, allowing me to be soft and flexible, rather than keeping it closed and stagnant. After this experience I discover yet again that I truly am prosperous.
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