Intuitive Journaling

I have often written about journaling on this blog. However, I have recently transitioned to automatic writing for about 20 minutes every morning. This has allowed me to tap into a higher guidance system. Rather than writing about problems or fears I am having, I pose a question, connect with my higher self, and allow myself to write down the wisdom that comes to me. I have found this to be both empowering and healing, as it allows me to step out of my day-to-day story and into a higher perspective.

This morning I sat in my meditation corner, listening to healing music, wrapped in a cozy blanket. I had trouble sleeping last night because a lot was on my mind. A project I am involved in is taking longer than I had hoped to get off the ground, and there is a lot up in the air. Instead of harping on this story, I wrote this:

What is the potential for you, if you were able to see the future as something that could be known–that there are many probable future destinations. You have the power to choose which outcome you would most like to see. The outcome you would like should be focused on solely for it to come into physical manifestation. You can draw pictures, create a vision board, and ask to see this for the highest good. When you think of how to serve others, your power increases significantly. It you were to focus on numbers and money, people would sense your fear and stay far away. But, when you focus on service and affirm that you will receive more than enough to meet your needs, all will be done in Divine Timing.

Much more empowering than a whiny journal entry about money!

If you happen to be in the area, I’m giving a workshop on Intuitive Journaling at Terraloka Wellness in Kent, CT on October 11th. Comment below if you’d like to join!

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A Year of Being Here

I highly recommend this blog for a daily poem on mindfulness!

A Year of Being Here

Each poem has a picture, and is beautifully formatted. Thank you to the creators for their continued hard work and beautiful collection of poetry!

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Containers

Recently, I’ve been spending a lot of time considering how the structures in our lives are really empty containers waiting to be filled. What do I mean by a container?

A house.

A relationship.

A career.

A body.

We choose what is poured into our containers. Love? Hope? Positivity? Fear? Anger? All of these things?

Today, take a look at your containers and consider how you’ve filled them over the past years, perhaps decades. Can you now change what your containers are being filled with?

 

 

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Gratitude

May is a gorgeous time of year. Everywhere you look, new life is forming. Where there was barren land, flowers bloom. Bare, grey trees are springing to life in dresses of bright green. There are a lot of changes happening in my life, as well. From buying a house for the first time, to contemplating a major career change that would tie up all of my loose ends, I feel like an earthquake is happening to my life. I am being shaken up, tossed about, and ultimately reformed in a new shape, familiar and yet completely new at the same time.

In the midst of these changes I have become ungrounded. My head has been swimming with details and visions for the future. I have become caught up in the how, rather than releasing it and watching the events unfold. This afternoon I ran out to Starbucks on my lunch break to get some tea and almonds. As I sipped the iced green tea, I immediately paused, grateful for the lemony, cold flavor on my tongue. I realized in that moment that gratitude is gratitude. Whether it concerns buying a beautiful home, or just enjoying a sip of iced tea on a warm May day, the feeling is the same. I don’t need the big, eruptive changes to feel happy. Simple pleasures abound, and can bring just as much joy as the larger ones.

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I Brake for Geese

Although there is much sadness in the world, and horrible things happen to good people, the world is still a beautiful place and people are still generally kind. Please do not forget this. When we become cynical, or engrossed in the destruction in the world, we do violence to ourselves on a daily basis. Look around and take comfort in nature, in the cycles of the moon, and the flow of the ocean. All is well.

On my way home today I saw something that helped me renew my faith in humanity. I was driving along a narrow, curvy road and saw brake lights ahead. I quickly came to a stop, worried about why there seemed to be a traffic jam. As I came to a halt I saw a beautiful Canadian goose flapping its wings as it crossed the road. I had to chuckle to myself when I considered that at least 5 cars came to a screeching halt, almost hitting one another, so that a goose could safely cross the road.

Yes, bad things happen. Yes, we live in a world where trauma occurs somewhere to someone every second of the day. Yes, it is a beautiful place. If you can hold this paradox in your head, and accept both sides of the coin, peace is yours.

 

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A Weekend of Words

 

Over the last four days I have been immersed in the world of poetry and healing. When most people think of poetry, they remember being forced to memorize metaphor, simile, alliteration, and on and on. Not fun! The National Association of Poetry Therapy’s annual conference, held at the Cenacle Retreat Center in Chicago, would be enough to change anyone’s mind. Poetry can lead you down the path of healing by opening your heart to beautiful, expressive language. Poetry takes our human experience and condenses it into concise and powerful words.

Although there were many fantastic workshops, I fell in love with the combination of poetry and dance in a workshop held Saturday morning. Tired from the day before, I entered the workshop not quite sure what to expect. The facilitator immediately had us on our feet, in a circle, holding hands. I felt the familiar demons rising up in me: oh no, am I going to look foolish? Will I get the moves right? I took all of these thoughts in and accepted them (welcome to the party)! and began to move and flow with the rest of the group. It was an amazing, healing experience that broke down many barriers, resulted in a lot of laughs, and a huge outpour of words on paper. How true that our bodies hold our stories, and they just wait for a chance to release them. Here is the poem I wrote after the sacred dance:

Twilight closes my eyes

And the stars glimmer from the purple smooth

I honor the four directions

The divine directions of my life

I feel love filtering through the circle

A ring of flowers, each in a different state of bloom

The music plays and my soul rises to follow the beat

Trembling in joy

I came to poetry therapy as an English teacher, wanting to forge a deeper connection between my students and the written word. I left the conference with a truer vision of what I am: a healer, both of myself and others. In this vein I have decided to extend my poetry therapy training to actually studying counseling at a local college.  I have decided not to leap into this path as soon as possible, however, and instead wait until the fall of 2014 to begin this training. 2013 will be a time of great rest and reflection. I must say, it does feel good to have some clarity! And I take with me on this journey the words of wisdom from the great poets, and the great healers, I met this weekend.

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Watery Dreams

I often dream of water: oceans, rivers, murky ponds. Water happens to be my most common dream symbol, and according to Traditional Chinese Medicine, I have many characteristics of the water element. In my most recent dream I was in the midst of a powerful current creating strong waves. Each wave, although not very high, pushed me backwards and forwards, closer to shore and then further away from it. I was not afraid as I usually am in these dreams. I enjoyed the push and pull, and I moved freely with the current. As I became swept up and tumbled in a wave, I felt the need to breathe, and happily found that I could breathe underwater!

This dream helped me process the ebb and flow of emotions, which often feel like huge waves pulling me under. It also showed me that I need to flow more with life, and not disrupt the natural movement and cycles. I need to incorporate more of my natural water element into my life. I do not do well with structure imposed on me. It feels like I’m being imprisoned. Although I love teaching, I have a very hard time with the daily schedule. I would much prefer to create my own schedule that would allow for slower, flow-ier movements in my day. I’m not sure how to accomplish it, but I am sending this out to the universe to manifest in my life.

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Completion

 

I’ve been using my Earth Magic oracle cards by Dr. Steven Farmer to help me as I begin my journey into my new business, and manifest my dreams into physical reality. I’ve felt very strongly that I’m coming to the end of a cycle and old ventures, wounds, and thought patterns are beginning to resolve themselves and fall away. In my card readings the Full Moon-Completion card keeps arising as well. I believe that I am overthinking this process, however. My logical mind is trying to analyze what exactly is ending, what will be beginning, how the new cycle will look, and what I should do to wrap up the old cycle. In my body, though, I feel it is a time for rest. My body is also trying to get my attention! I rarely get sick, but in the last month I have been sick twice. I know that I am being told to slow down and reflect. Each illness also seems to come  after some sort of emotional release: either I let go of limiting beliefs, or I find a new understanding or acceptance of myself.

Within my emotional cycle is the cycle of my business. As I expand it into the world, it seems that at the same time my physical and emotional body begin to contract. I think I need to rest before I am ready to take it on fully. Although I have a space for SpiritualiTea, have regularly scheduled workshops, and am available for private appointments in the evening, I really feel like I need to find some rest within myself before I take on the new schedule and responsibilities. There needs to be some internal work done and some final preparations before I can truly take my place in the physical world. I love the possibilities for the future, where I see myself headed, and the surprises that will come along the way. I am going to allow myself to rest for now, and when it is time I will begin to blossom.

 

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A Depth of Feeling

Recently I have felt an intense depth of feeling, perhaps a depth that had been there but that I had previously been afraid of truly experiencing. The intensity and range of emotions I can experience has expanded greatly over the last month, and has brought me much joy as well as sadness. Living this way has been like putting on glasses after living for so long without them. I wrote a quick poem that just came out as I was contemplating these feelings:

 

In the broad of daylight

The little bird sings

Humming a sunny tune of nothing

Bringing to life the leaves and the twigs

That form its resting nesting place

 

The bird holds a note

And it shines through the air

As one line of silver

Reaching my ears

In my eardrum the noise

Beats like a tiny heartbeat

And I confuse

Its sound for mine

 

The bird flies

But not like me

For I fly with arms close

And my wings cannot be seen

Some believe they are not there

But I can see them when I move quickly

A flash of light

From the silver tune

Catches the corner of a feather

 

I like these glimpses

Of who I am

I have felt misunderstood

But no longer does this bother me as it once did

No longer does it poison my heart

Instead it makes me sing a silver tune

With joy

 

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The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Wendell Berry

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