Gratitude

May is a gorgeous time of year. Everywhere you look, new life is forming. Where there was barren land, flowers bloom. Bare, grey trees are springing to life in dresses of bright green. There are a lot of changes happening in my life, as well. From buying a house for the first time, to contemplating a major career change that would tie up all of my loose ends, I feel like an earthquake is happening to my life. I am being shaken up, tossed about, and ultimately reformed in a new shape, familiar and yet completely new at the same time.

In the midst of these changes I have become ungrounded. My head has been swimming with details and visions for the future. I have become caught up in the how, rather than releasing it and watching the events unfold. This afternoon I ran out to Starbucks on my lunch break to get some tea and almonds. As I sipped the iced green tea, I immediately paused, grateful for the lemony, cold flavor on my tongue. I realized in that moment that gratitude is gratitude. Whether it concerns buying a beautiful home, or just enjoying a sip of iced tea on a warm May day, the feeling is the same. I don’t need the big, eruptive changes to feel happy. Simple pleasures abound, and can bring just as much joy as the larger ones.

I Brake for Geese

Although there is much sadness in the world, and horrible things happen to good people, the world is still a beautiful place and people are still generally kind. Please do not forget this. When we become cynical, or engrossed in the destruction in the world, we do violence to ourselves on a daily basis. Look around and take comfort in nature, in the cycles of the moon, and the flow of the ocean. All is well.

On my way home today I saw something that helped me renew my faith in humanity. I was driving along a narrow, curvy road and saw brake lights ahead. I quickly came to a stop, worried about why there seemed to be a traffic jam. As I came to a halt I saw a beautiful Canadian goose flapping its wings as it crossed the road. I had to chuckle to myself when I considered that at least 5 cars came to a screeching halt, almost hitting one another, so that a goose could safely cross the road.

Yes, bad things happen. Yes, we live in a world where trauma occurs somewhere to someone every second of the day. Yes, it is a beautiful place. If you can hold this paradox in your head, and accept both sides of the coin, peace is yours.

 

A Weekend of Words

 

Over the last four days I have been immersed in the world of poetry and healing. When most people think of poetry, they remember being forced to memorize metaphor, simile, alliteration, and on and on. Not fun! The National Association of Poetry Therapy’s annual conference, held at the Cenacle Retreat Center in Chicago, would be enough to change anyone’s mind. Poetry can lead you down the path of healing by opening your heart to beautiful, expressive language. Poetry takes our human experience and condenses it into concise and powerful words.

Although there were many fantastic workshops, I fell in love with the combination of poetry and dance in a workshop held Saturday morning. Tired from the day before, I entered the workshop not quite sure what to expect. The facilitator immediately had us on our feet, in a circle, holding hands. I felt the familiar demons rising up in me: oh no, am I going to look foolish? Will I get the moves right? I took all of these thoughts in and accepted them (welcome to the party)! and began to move and flow with the rest of the group. It was an amazing, healing experience that broke down many barriers, resulted in a lot of laughs, and a huge outpour of words on paper. How true that our bodies hold our stories, and they just wait for a chance to release them. Here is the poem I wrote after the sacred dance:

Twilight closes my eyes

And the stars glimmer from the purple smooth

I honor the four directions

The divine directions of my life

I feel love filtering through the circle

A ring of flowers, each in a different state of bloom

The music plays and my soul rises to follow the beat

Trembling in joy

I came to poetry therapy as an English teacher, wanting to forge a deeper connection between my students and the written word. I left the conference with a truer vision of what I am: a healer, both of myself and others. In this vein I have decided to extend my poetry therapy training to actually studying counseling at a local college.  I have decided not to leap into this path as soon as possible, however, and instead wait until the fall of 2014 to begin this training. 2013 will be a time of great rest and reflection. I must say, it does feel good to have some clarity! And I take with me on this journey the words of wisdom from the great poets, and the great healers, I met this weekend.

Spring Cleanse

Many of you have probably read about, or have tried, many different types of cleanses. A couple of years ago I attempted a cleanse eating only raw foods. Even though it was summer time, my body went into shock. Abruptly switching from a carb-loaded diet to one with only cold fruits and vegetables was unhealthy. I was on the right track, but after day 1 I had a terrible allergic reaction to a mango (which I am not usually allergic to), and could not continue. Now I am working on a gentler cleanse that will actually last three months: the candida cleanse.

There is a lot of information on the internet about the symptoms and treatments of candida. I was on an antibiotic regimen for acne in my early teenage years, and I believe that this was the beginning of the overgrowth. The basic process is to starve the candida of the sugars that feed them, let them die, and then begin again with a healthier diet. I am extremely attached to sweet treats and white flour. Today is day 1 of my cleanse and I can feel myself itching for some cake. This morning was hectic and harried, and I found myself longing for a piece of cake left over from Easter. I would never have been so aware of my emotional attachment to sweets had I not begun this cleanse.

Here are some dos and don’ts for cleansing:

1. DO stick with a diet you are comfortable with

2. DON’T schock your body by getting rid of all carbs, or even fasting, if you are not prepared for it.

3. DO create a very specific shopping list and have fun picking out new ingredients to try!

4. DON’T beat yourself up if you slip here and there.

5. DO take great care of yourself. Take a bath, sip lots of herbal tea, take yoga classes, go for long, gentle walks. A cleanse is one of the best excuses to take excellent care of yourself, so go for it.

I am personally cutting out sugar, gluten, and dairy, while taking an herbal anti-fungal remedy. For more information on the candida diet read

The Candida Cure: Yeast, Fungus & Your Health: The 90-Day Program to Beat Candida & Restore Vibrant Health by Ann Boroch.

The Lack Trap

Do you find yourself caught up in thoughts about what is missing in your life? Are you ruminating about the terrible things that might happen to you in the future? Do you look at your bank account and focus on what’s not there rather than what is? The lack trap is a deadly addiction to thoughts, feelings, and actions reflecting a belief in lack. Why is it so addicting? We often think that by focusing on what we don’t have, and worrying or plotting about how to obtain it, we are being productive. For example, if I have a job I do not enjoy, and I focus on how terrible it is and constantly search for a replacement job, I’ll end up being happier, right?

Unfortunately, no. When you focus your attention on what you don’t have, you end up creating more of it even if your external circumstances change. Wallowing in the sorrows of a past relationship, or worrying constantly about money will only increase your sorrows and worries, and decrease your chance of finding a meaningful relationship or creating prosperity. Even if you meet someone new or find a different job, chances are you will find the same issues waiting for you.

Even with this knowledge you may fall into the open jaws of the lack trap. I tend to find myself stuck here quite often. Where does it stem from? For me it’s all about control. If I worry, stress, ponder, ruminate, or wallow, my mind paradoxically feels soothed because it creates a sense of control over my external circumstances. I find that when I can catch myself in the trap, by allowing my repetitive thoughts to fall away and asking for divine help to allow me to trust in the power of the universe above the power of my ego, miracles can happen. Everything I need magically falls into place if I can stay in this space long enough. Of course we are all human, and we will all get lured into the lack trap every now and then. However, if you can catch yourself once you’re there, or better yet before you fall in, watch what you want most magically enter your life!

Watery Dreams

I often dream of water: oceans, rivers, murky ponds. Water happens to be my most common dream symbol, and according to Traditional Chinese Medicine, I have many characteristics of the water element. In my most recent dream I was in the midst of a powerful current creating strong waves. Each wave, although not very high, pushed me backwards and forwards, closer to shore and then further away from it. I was not afraid as I usually am in these dreams. I enjoyed the push and pull, and I moved freely with the current. As I became swept up and tumbled in a wave, I felt the need to breathe, and happily found that I could breathe underwater!

This dream helped me process the ebb and flow of emotions, which often feel like huge waves pulling me under. It also showed me that I need to flow more with life, and not disrupt the natural movement and cycles. I need to incorporate more of my natural water element into my life. I do not do well with structure imposed on me. It feels like I’m being imprisoned. Although I love teaching, I have a very hard time with the daily schedule. I would much prefer to create my own schedule that would allow for slower, flow-ier movements in my day. I’m not sure how to accomplish it, but I am sending this out to the universe to manifest in my life.

Oracle Cards

Oracle cards are often beautiful, true representatives of our innermost thoughts. Below are my favorite decks:

Earth Magic Oracle Cards by Dr. Steven Farmer

The Enchanted Map Oracle Cards by Collette Baron-Reid

 

Wisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Cards by Collette Baron-Reid